My world revolves around you

Baffled

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 16:31:42 GMT

Goodbye Christmas.
Urgh.
This year's Christmas..
I'm glad I have the three people to be with me;
to make me laugh
to make me cringe
to make me laugh even more
to make me scream
to make me embarrassed

I'm glad someone loves me so much.
I'm glad I hate that someone.
I'm glad I will never end up with that someone.
Boy am I glad, glad, glad...

my heart

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:47:45 GMT

If you were to slice my oh so delicate heart of its contents,
You'd only be able to find fragments of bloody bittersweet profundities
;often elusive, baffling and hard to explain.

If only life were a bed of roses~
I'd wish...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 03:29:01 GMT

Penang is boring.
The flight was horrid.
I hate the pressure you get in yr ears,
I literally teared.
AH I DON'T USUALLY GET THAT BUT I DONT KNOW WHY, IT JUST HAPPENED.
Hope the flight back home will be slightly more comfy.

There's free internet access here, great.
There's a seaview from my room, but it ain't that fantastic.
I WANT THE MASTER BEDROOM.
And not to mention I had to squeeze with my sister last night,
she just had to train her reflexes and, punch my eye. grr.

p/s
I think the food is the only decent thing here. .
The vendors DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO BUSINESS
... finds a table, settles down~
vendor: you have to buy drinks from our stall before you can sit here.
me: no thanks, I dont need a drink
vendor: YOU HAVE TO BUY A DRINK IF YOU WANT TO SIT HERE
me: fine, (tells mom)
mom: Okay, lets go we dont want to eat here anymore.
.... moves to next table~

Peeved.

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 15:20:48 GMT

Urgh. I need to rant
why is mom always like this.
giving me stupid excuses and claiming they're all for my own good.
I know it okay, I know what's right and wrong.
URGH. she wants me to stop every ministry activity because there's an exam next year.
so that means this saturday is my last duty for a very long time.
She doesn't trust me, she doesn't trust me to study well.
I haven't been doing anything to piss her off lately, why is she like this.
URGH. And what does the bible say..?
Respect your parents. I'm sorry, I feel like she's just bulling and tearing me apart;
she's telling me that YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE SERVING NOW and THAT THEY SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON THEIR STUDIES.
She's gonna call lynette again, again.
bitch.
Tell me how to love her? RAH I WANT TO CRY.
She scolded me for serving, how am I suppose to react?

I just told her to stop.
"When you have nothing good to say, please get out"
And she said "what good is there to say about you doing all these things"
I was so pissed.
URGH. I know she's still unhappy that I'm attending hogc, but whatever.

daebak

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:18:45 GMT

This is getting annoying.
There isn't a day that I've gotten sick of him.
The question is, "am I in love?"
Nicole replies: "No, you're just fangirling like anyone of us"

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:06:22 GMT

Its been an eternity since I've last posted.
Life's good.
School's kinda relaxed in a way.
I can't wait for the week to be over,
I hope I can finally be done with cca.

10th December 2009
Changi Airport.
If he comes,
If they come...
"Mom, I'm sorry..."
*priscilla runs as fast as she can, lugging her ultra heavy luggage..
heads to the train.

#prayfordustin

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:21:11 GMT

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live."
How true and free from erroneousness.
I want to live life to the fullest, in pursuit of happiness.

http://www.duselk.blogspot.com/

the hate that I love you so

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:29:31 GMT

Tired of Waiting.
Infatuated much?

I just might have a problem, tonight

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:41:21 GMT

My tummy's aching like hell.
My hearts pulsating like crazy.
I'm starting to feel warm.
I feel like inner hell just broke loose.

p/s I tried to tell my body to stop, but it just wouldn't stop.
I hate it when my body doesn't listen/respond to my commands.

Will you notice me?

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:47:02 GMT

1. Darlin.
2. Naive.
3. I feel like spilling everything out to you.
4. My heart feels, uneasy/insecure.
5. Wait, alright?

p/s back to yiruma night therapy.

I could sing of your love forever

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:31:58 GMT

K. there's school tomorrow.
I'm seriously dreading it.
Watched 3 episodes of You're Beautiful/Handsome.
Gotta say, its totally cliched. tsk.
Ah but Hongki's driving me nuts, he's hilarious.
With all the debuts, I'm really digging Dara's brother
oh man, I mean he's DARA's brother.
I dont find any reason to dislike him.

I've been living like junkie for the past few days.
Gotta stop. Gotta live my life WELL.
And stop nua-ing.
I know I'm typing many random things, I just have so many things up there in my head..
I guess I'm using this as a channel to rant it all out.
I write to relieve myself. So I guess I'll stick to my written diary.

p/s I feel like I have no say in the family. I feel quite insignificant in a way.
My parents just can't seem to get what I'm trying to put across, most of the time, about spiritual things.
Sometimes they tell me, that its good if I would give up church for a while to study, or like, going for 1 service is good enough?
Don't be selfish and pursue your own dreams?
I'm sorry just mentioning issues that have been bugging me.
It strange and confusing.
Why? How we all believe in the same God, but have different mindsets towards different issues.
And sometimes when I want to tell them how I feel, something just holds me back.
Or I don't even know how to respond to whatever they tell me...
Maybe its the way I speak to them, knowing that I might accidentally disrespect them...
Or maybe I'm just too timid to express myself.
Neither way is good.
probably because my parents have been christians for decades and compared to me?
and talking to them about spiritual things just makes me wonder, if I'm right (or not?)
Sometimes I wonder if I even have faith, because I don't trust myself, I don't trust myself to make the right stand, decisions.
Still, in the midst of this confusing and thought provoking process, I'll always bear in mind, to respect my parents.
I'll also keep following my heart because I know God will guide me, and show me the what is right.
I'm sure he will.

p/p/s Its 2.30 am and since I can't sleep right now.
I think I shall worship, pray and just be spongy (like a sponge)...
Absorbing more and more and more and refreshing myself in the spirit.
for indeed, there is no one greater than Our God.
For greater things have yet to come....

p/p/p/s Your word is lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Again and Again

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:27:17 GMT

I miss beasty performances,
I miss crazy, idol shows, and idol army,starking,infinity girls w/you guys
I miss wy's ssanti and anganggggz
I miss those hamsum faces. (laughs)
I miss them all ¬.¬

Saw the pictures...
Are they acting (happy)? it still feels kinda empty without Jay huh.
Haha, I'm not really devastated over the whole jay incident now (k,maybe not as bad as before)
the other members look so drained, and bad and all,
the smiles on their faces(i dont even know if they're really happy).
But it makes my heart. ache.
aigooo,why am I feeling like this?
This crazy fangurl crap, why isn't it coming off me.
pffttt.

With love and respect, ^_^

One day with you is better than a thousand elsewhere.

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 18:39:24 GMT

I love God
I love my life
I love others
I really love God with all my heart, my soul and all my might.
Its hard to explain believing in the invisible.
But HIs love has touched me and thousands and millions of people.
And now because of his His agape love for me,
I am ever willing and ready to sacrifice this mere soul of mine for others

I love it, when I wake up and always know there's someone spurring me on to run this race,
someone who will never leave me nor forsake me,
someone who never sleeps - just to watch over me,
someone who will always comfort me,
someone who will never give up on me,
someone who will encourage me,
someone who will empower me to do greater things,
someone I can always count on, always turn to, and
someone who will love me forever and ever.

That no profound thought or clever rhyme
No soaring grand, melodic line
No theory, philosophy or sign
Can explain it
Can explain

Where you are, I wanna be
It's your love that has changed me
I'd give the world, and all it's charms
For a moment in your arms
Better is one day with you
Than a thousand elsewhere *
A thousand elsewhere....

Indeed,
One day with you oh Lord,
is better than a thousand elsewhere

We all know

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 05:37:23 GMT

Maybe I'm just being complacent but now that exams are drawing near,
I'm absolutely absolutely hating it.
Sheesh, Booz, urghhhhh.
Really disappointed.
I feel like ranting but everyone's in school.
There's chinese tuition again ...
I wanna go out and chill.
But if I did, I'd be too guilty for NOT studying.
Oh gosh, I can't believe I'm saying that but yes, I know I'd be letting everyone down.
I can't let my parents down, I can't let myself down.

p/s
I'm sorry this post may or may not be grammatically correct, with the punctuation and paragraphing whatever, but I just can't be bothered at a time like this.

p/s/s
that something between us.
It wasn't love, i guess it was just ... infatuation
And infatuation is something unattainable.
So Liz, if you even get what I mean.
Urgh for me, Urgh Urgh Urgh for you ^^
Oh and I think we should talk in codes, it'll be better for us.

p/s/s/s oh, class just ended for 3/1zzzzzzz.

You're here

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:24:22 GMT

I'll bring praise
I'll bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I'll rejoice, I'll declare
God is my victory and he is here.

And this is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Haru Haru

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 12:45:58 GMT

Dear Mom - Girl's Generation

오늘은 왠지 힘들고 지쳐
For some reason, I'm worn out and tired.
베개를 끌어안은 채 혼자 방안에 남아
Left alone in my room, holding on tight to my pillow

전화길 만지작거리는 나의 마음이
fiddling with my phone, my heart's
웬지 오늘따라 외로운거죠
for some reason lonely today

갑자기 울린 전화에 놀라
frightened by the sudden ringing, someone's calling me.
밥 먹었는지 걱정하는 엄마 목소리가
Its my mom who called to check on me, "have you eaten?"

귀찮게 들렸던 그 말이 오늘은 다른걸
those annoying words, seem a little different today
잊고 있었던 약속들이 떠올라요
I suddenly recall those forgotten promises

마음이 예쁜 사람이 될게요
I’ll become a person with a beautiful heart
남을 먼저 생각하는 사람 될게요
become a person who puts others before herself, selfless.

엄마의 사랑의 바램들을 지켜갈게요
I'll contintue working hard, and live up to my mother's expectations.
나와 꿈을 함께 나누던 내 머릴 빗겨주던 엄마가 생각나
i think of mother who used to share my dreams and brush my hair

때론 잘못된 선택들로 아파했지만 아무 말 없이 뒤에서 지켜봐 주셨죠
though i’ve made hurtful, wrong choices you silently watched over me from behind
서툴고 어린 아이지만 이젠 알 것 같아요 엄마의 조용한 기도의 의미를
though a young and ‘innocent’/ not yet fully understanding child, i think i
understand now, the meaning behind mother’s silent prayers

마음이 예쁜 사람이 될게요 same translation as above
남을 먼저 생각하는 사람 될게요 same translation as above

엄마의 사랑의 바램들을 지켜갈게요 same as above
나와 꿈을 함께 나누던 내 머리를 빗겨주던 엄마가 생각나 same as above

어떡하죠 아직 작은 내 맘이
what do I do, my yet small heart

엄마의 손을 놓으면 혼자 잘할 수 있을지
will it do well without holding mothers hand

아직 부족한 것 같아 난 두려운 걸요
i fear/am weary because I still lack so much
지혜로운 엄마의 딸 될게요 나에게 용기를 줘
i’ll become a wise mother’s daughter, give me the strength/confidance
어딜가도 자랑스런 딸이 될게요
i’ll become a praiseworthy daughter no matter where I go

엄마의 사랑의 바램들을 지켜갈게요 same as above
한없이 보여준 사랑만큼 따스한 맘을 가질게요
I’ll become a heart that is warm as the unconditional love you’ve shown me
수줍어 자주 표현 못했죠
I was shy and couldnt often express,

엄마 정말로 사랑해요
that mother, i really love you.
(eom ma jeong mal lo sa rang hae yo)

Happy Belated Birthday Mothership
even though you may be a pain in the ass most of the time

STF = Skinnier than Tiff.

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 15:35:43 GMT

Gonna start my workouts 5 times a day and hardcore diets.
Jessica's waist = 21 inches.
Her waist to hip ratio is 7:10
But I'm happy because I'm skinnier than tiffany.
The leg proportions.

Darren suddenly popped out and started blabbering kpop crap to me.
He's a crazy wonder girl fan.
Really he's crazy, he met and chatted with close distance here in sg and in thailand he's a moderator/author for 3 different forums too.
He even spent 3000 dollars on kpop.
I'd rather use that to buy other things.

This is an excerpt from our online conversation:

[c=30][b]Darren

![/c][/b][b][c=32] ![/c] [c=20] ![/c][/b] [c=27] ![/c] says:

i like jessica the most tough lol

lol she has like this super strong magnet inside her, i keep getting attracted to her

So what didya think?

Okay I'm gonna wrap it up here.
Bye! :D

I speak a language only few can decipher.

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:41:21 GMT

Being able to love is equivalent to being selfish.
Because it robs your heart, your time, your effort.
But the ability to love cultivates the best Godly values mankind can ever attain
It changes mindsets, moulds characters, speaks specifically to everyone in every season,through every literal second.

Its time I start to love to love.
Start Loving, not romantically (which I'm not ready for),
But to start to really have the heart for others.
Embracing all humanity.
I suppose thats what God wants us to do ultimately in our time here on Earth.
and I guess, loving is really just serving.

haaaaaa-chewww.

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 14:05:12 GMT

I've been sneezing like mad.
My hair's in a mess, I just tied it up to a high high high high bun- kinda resembles dara.
Whoohoo.
I feel damn sick
Really, I can kill myself.
I feel so .........
Urgh, ok chill chill chill (blows*)

I don't care ey ey ey ey ey~
I don't care eh eh eh eh eh~
I think 2ne1 just shook my world.
2ne1 tv, i love it when they get too tired and they all get high and do some crappy dance
Yg yg yg.
But JYP ftw.

I wanna be a PD when I grow up.
I really want to be one.
And my boss shall be da one and only JYP!
JYP rocks my world ( besides The Beatles/The Kooks/ John Mayer/ YIRUMA and all my yadda kpop)
But sakamato's merry christmas mr lawrence has been stuck on my head....

p.s I'm eating tissue muahahhaa.
cos i've been sneezing like a maniac, i decided to munch on that piece of tissue, don't ask me why but its incredibly true
Its been a long time writing like this.
Maybe because I'm feeling a little high on those medical drugs.
This is what medicine does to young little girls... (like me- thick skin*)
heeehee.
ㅋㅋ

Its all just a game of hide and seek

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:33:58 GMT

We're all just junk,
nothing but junk

Life's a bitch when you don't put it to good use
We're nothing, absolutely nothing but the facade we seem to avoid
There's no use putting on false fronts when we all know the truth will be revealed, eventually
Pride, let down your pride
Why are you still ashamed?

lovestruck

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 14:17:40 GMT

Love, the sweet spring blossoms cling
To many a broken wind-tossed bough,
And young birds among branches sing
That mutely hung till now.

Dear love, my pulses throb and start
To-night with longings sweet and new,
And young hopes beat within a heart
Grown old in loving you

When the lives of others seemed to have gotten better
Mine just took a toll on me
My life's screwed.

Big Joke

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:34:51 GMT

God.
You've got to be kidding me.
You can just shoot me in the head.
Why Why Why.

Had dance assesment, Mrs Cavenagh(?) was scary.
I danced with Sohee.
I've gotta tell you, Kim So Hee can dance~
She's got the moves.
I found out two shocking truths.
Shall keep mum for now.

Goddess of Love,
Venus whatever.
Please tell me this love is true.
Tristen FTW!

Think This

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:08:22 GMT

I dreamt of something like this with someone like this doing something like this seeing something like this.
This this this.

1. ferris wheel 2. red wagons 3. night
Nine months of intolerable torturous but pleasant frustrations.

Frustration
Impatience
Annoyance
Pain in the ass
Irritation
But nothing beats you.

My Friend's Confession

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:43:39 GMT

Those flowers we had planted last spring,
Have blossomed out quite beautifully, against our garden wall
Now its time for confession.

Naive

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 12:21:58 GMT

His smile penetrates all my defenses.
His body blows me off my senses.
His lips as are an unimaginable burst of freshness
How is this possible?